GIVE THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF

hello and good morning again to all my lovely readers.. my name sarah afiqah binti mohd shahrin... i am the owner of 65191 matrics number. you may briefly about me based on the previous post.. since the last post is about me trying to adapt in the new environment .. so now i would like to continue my story about my journey of being a trainee counsellors.. people who may not literally know about our course would say like' ahh you are in counselling course, you may not find it hard in your course'.. hmm i would say that i disagree with those kind of statements.. counselling course has its own way of making the students feel hard sometimes.. basically after attending the lectures, it is not easy as people thought it would be.. counsellors is a professional profession, so it means that the input to be a counsellors have to be as many as you can.. because we are dealing with human beings.. each human beings is unique.. they have different character.. the theories that we learn is classes is just a simple guid line for us to make a eefective counselling session..

the first assignmentfor this subject is basically about knowing who yourself are and find the good things in you.. we as a human being always compare ourself to someone else.. but actually , the one who we need to compare is not a stranger thatt we dont every details of their life, instead it is ourself from the past years.. reflects ourself on how much changes you have made from the past years.. how many achievements have you done.. it may seem simple but it has a great impact on how you look at yourself.. the more you reflects the things how much good changes have you done, the more you feel that you are worth it even though others dont think like you.. based on my experience after done the assignment is that, i never realised that i am capable of doing something .. for instance, i feel very hard and not confident to talk in front especially during presentation.. but now, i am capable to talk in front with confident .. to some people it may seem it is just a simple thing but for me , it is my biggest achievement because i have just stepped out of my confort zone and somehow i feel that i beleieve in myself.. the important things that matters is that we should always love ourself because that is the important thing to help us growth in terms of cognitive..

the assignmenr of knowing myself have made me realised some characteristic in me that hold me back from having the confident in myself.. i always think about how people would say about me.. if i do this way , what will they say . if i do that way, how do others react.. basically i am person who always fear of people who dont like me.. i have a fear of people critized me, i rather make things that i dont like to just make them happy because i just want people to like me, it is not that im trying to be fake.. it is just that i think that if people dont like me, i have just made me a bad person.. if someone is mad at me, i will always feel uneasy about it and i try to avoid making contact with them because i just cant face them.. i will always think about why am i doing that way until that person mad at me.. and i will blame myself for making that way.. whilw doing the assignment , i realized that i have a aggressive passive character.. so after some readings, i found some things that i can do to make me being more realistic and i am still improving myself..

the last one about the individual assignment is that about the letter of gratitude.. hmm.. before this i always wanted to thank my mother for always sacrifices many things for me.. but when it come to i want to say it face to face, it is hard for me to say thank you , ibu .. this is because me and my mother not always express our love in soft way like saying i love you and hugging each other.. the words that came out of my mother may seem harsh for other people, but for me it is a sign that she loves me so much.. for instance, she faced a problems, she try to act like nothing happens to her and she will say to me ' walaupun semua orang tak ada dengan ibu, cukupla ada anak anak ibu sebagai semangat ibu.. ibu kuat smpai tahap macam ni sebab kan ada anak anak ibu' .. she tries very hard not to cry in front of her children, that shows how strong she is.. i remembers when i was in boarding school , i once called her while i was crying because i think hard to survive because one of my friend is mad at me.. she just said to me' ibu x kesah apa yang berlaku.. yang ibu tahu sarah score je.. belajar tunggang terbalik ke, yang penting score' .. at first i think that she ignored me but at last i understand that she tries to teach me how to be independent because people will not always be there for me when i have problems..

based on the group assignment, it helps me to organised my time very well because there is  lot of group assignemnt that need to be done before the due date.. so time management and the cooperation among group members is the key to complete the assignment.. i also learn that you just have to push yourself harder to give the best version of yourself.. for instance, i really love to sleep.. but i push myself hard by hold myself from sleeping and struggle to complete the assignment ..